Thank you, Eugenia*

There are a million things in my life that I can't control. I can't control the weather, I can't control other people or their actions, I can't control a lot of things, but I can control me. I can control my actions, my words, my attitude. Things aren't positive for us, the punches keep coming, between car accidents, cars breaking down, money being stolen out of our account, and our rental company trying to screw us, things don't feel great. Andy, my perfectly positive cheerleader of a husband has even been brought down by our circumstances lately. Usually I would be right there with him, usually I would cry, yell and be down.  However, last night driving home I just had a moment, a moment where I realized that I can't control or change all of that. What I can control is my attitude about all the things happening to us right now. I have to be positive, I have to be encouraging, I have to be strong because if I am not, I think the overwhelming hurt of what is happening would crush me. So this time I will be the cheerleader, I will be positive, I will adopt the mantra that everything will get better because it will. I have to believe that God has a plan for us, I have to believe that with each other my husband and I can get through anything because that is the only thing I have control over. My attitude may not be able to change our circumstances but it can help us get through it together.

*There is a book I read when hard times hit, it's by Yevgenia  Ginzburg a Russian Gulag survivor, her book "Journey into the Whirlwind" tells about her years of imprisonment and her battle to survive. To read about a human beings absolute determination to live always inspires me and reminds me that my life is just not that hard. One of my favorite quotes from her book is as follows, "I intended to survive. Just to spite them."

Frustrated to fantastic

I try not to be too much of a downer, being positive is much more productive in my personal opinion, but the last couple of days has really tested my positivity. I've been working for 13 days straight, I'm tired, and I really have been missing people, my friends, family, and my husband. I don't have a day off from both of my jobs until next Wednesday so I'm a little frustrated. With my working so much and working primarily at night I don't get nearly as much time to do the things I would like to do or spend my time with the people I love. This was the plan, Andy and I knew this was the plan and we knew it would be hard. We understood, that we would be working our butts off for a year to get our stuff in a pile and be able to do the things we want to do. I know this. It's just a lot harder than I imagined it to be. Not only that but I haven't made many friends in our new hometown and we have been here for nearly 5 months. I miss having friends to hang out with, a friend I could call randomly and see if they wanted to catch a movie. I have been a little whiney and crabby the past few days about all this stuff, but my fantastic husband turned it all around last night.

Last night I arrived home and he got me something to eat, got a fire going, made some chocolate fondue with strawberries and had some sparkling wine for us to drink. He took a nap after he got home from work so we could hang out together later and spend some quality time together. As if that wasn't enough, we found a meet-up group for young couples that we are going to check out and hopefully meet some peeps we would enjoy hanging out with! Honestly, he is such an amazing guy, I don't know how I got so lucky. Last night really enforced my belief that being positive is a lot more productive than being negative. I need to appreciate the time I do get with Andy and look forward to the time I will get to spend with a great friend (who will be in town next Wednesday!). Instead of being sad and mopey about something I need to look for ways to improve it.

Just in case

I am a planner. I don't know if I always have been, I would have to ask my Mom if I packed band-aids and triple antibiotic ointment in my Minnie Mouse backpack. Which, come to think of it she mentioned not to long ago (no, not band-aids and ointment, that was a joke)that I am like my Dad, who coincidentally likes to plan things out as well. He is the organization king that I aspire to be. Anyhow, I can say that I have known that I was a planner since my late teens. I like structure, I like being prepared, I like knowing what to expect. That is me...my husband, however, is a go-with-the-flow-fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants guy. He seriously loves to just live minute to minute without any expectations for the day. It use to drive me crazy and I use to drive him crazy. I say "use to" because I think my husband has started to accept that being prepared isn't always a bad thing and I have learned to loosen up a little.  I have learned that living in the moment is a lot more enjoyable and Andy has in turn seen that a little planning can go a long way.

I mention this because I'm sitting here before work looking up details on wait times at Universal Studios and Disney in hopes that we might not waste our precious vacation time in line. I have also already shopped for sunscreen, got our suitcases out of storage and made a packing list for myself. Meanwhile, Andy is well Andy and not getting at all ahead of himself. I don't even think he's excited we're going yet because there are 3 more working days ahead of us (after today of course). It's good though because once we get there, he will remind me to live in the moment, appreciate the fact we're on vacation and remind me to relax and soak it up. It's nice that I married a guy who balances me out.

Any other newlyweds have opposite attitudes or personality traits? What are they? Do they balance each other out or do they drive you both crazy?