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I feel like I should be all rainbows and sunshine because our house construction has actually begun and things have been going swimmingly for me on a personal level. I'm pretty sure I know what the culprit is and there isn't a lot I can do about it. Lately, I have been feeling a little unfulfilled in my professional life. I love my job and the company I work for but I want to do more. I only work part-time right now but I want to move up, by either going full-time in the position I am in or advancing to next rung on the ladder. Unfortunately, due to the grant we are using to aid us in purchasing our house I can't try for a full-time position until after we close on the house or we will make too much to qualify for the grant. We also can't take any more loans out so that I can start my master's degree, which I didn't think I was upset about until I dropped out of the classes last week that I had enrolled in before we decided to build. So I feel sort of stuck. Andy tells me to think about the grant as a bonus for not working more but it's really hard. I see him settled into a career and a job he loves and I just wish that I could have that. I hardly ever notice the six year age difference between us but on the professional level it's hard to ignore.
Things were different when Andy graduated, he got a job right away and while it wasn't a great job it helped him get to where he is today (working at home in his pajamas, yeah even I am jealous of him). When I graduated I almost think it would have been better for me to hibernate in school for a couple more years, maybe even obtain my Master's degree because the 9 months it took me to find a job may have been better spent in the classroom. The economy when I graduated was a horrible place for me and my classmates to go into. Out of the 8 or so friends and classmates I kept touch with after graduation it took an average of 4 months post-graduation to find some kind of job in their field. That isn't including the time spent job hunting in the months leading up to graduation, so I would say more like 6 months of actual job hunting. Many of those friends had to leave Toledo (including me) to find a job. I'm really grateful to have the job I have, I have many wonderful benefits and it is truly a place I want to work for a long time I just wish that I could do more, and make more money to actually begin saving instead of spending practically every dollar I make on bills. I know that it will happen one day and when that happens I will be thrilled, I just wish that it would happen sooner rather than later.
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