The Big One

This is a post I have been debating about writing for a while, but I have decided that it shouldn't matter to me what other people think. I want to preface this by saying I am not writing this with the intention of offending anyone, it's simply something that is happening in my life and marriage and affects only myself and my husband, no one else, therefore I would appreciate it if negative comments were kept out of the blogosphere.

The longer that Andy and I are married the more the subject of kids pops up, not only between us but also from family and friends. Usually it's just a general talk, a vague notion of the future that has yet to be determined. It is something that I always assumed would happen eventually, as did Andy. All throughout our relationship kids were an abstract thought to be talked about at some point in the future. When we got married that abstract thought turned into a discussion of when, which resulted in "Lets wait 6 months" and when 6 months came about it was "Let's wait a 6 more months" so on and so forth. Until very recently, in which a new question came to light "Should we have kids?"

 Yes, I know, it's kind of shocking, but let me explain. We love kids, we have an adorable nephew that we love to death and another nephew on the way that I am sure we will love just as much. I work with kids practically every day and I love it. We are questioning if we should have kids because to have children (which is probably the most responsibility a person can take on) without really thinking about it seems irresponsible and also because we really enjoy our life right now just the way it is. We live comfortably, we get to travel, go out, and generally do the things we enjoy doing without much interference. I'm sure that it seems selfish, but I am being honest. Our relationship is great and we are not sure we want the general trials and tribulations that having kids brings into a marriage. We realize that for some, kids are wonderful and a blessing but that doesn't mean it is necessary for all couples to have them. I think ultimately it is up to the couple and no one else. I'm sure parents, grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, and even the guy on the street have an opinion on this but it all comes down to the couple and for us, we aren't sure.

I can't speak for Andy but I always thought I would have children, always. When I was younger and even at the start of my relationship with Andy, I wanted four kids. Then gradually over time, things changed. I met the man of my dreams, I graduated college, I found a career that I love and while these things happened my idea of how life should go changed. I never question what are society views to be the normal life moments. I always assumed that I would graduate high school, go to college, meet a guy, get married, buy a house and have kids. I never thought I would have an alternate path, primarily because I thought there was no alternate path. However in the last few months that has changed. Andy and I have realized that our lives are our own to do with as we wish and if our wish isn't to have children then that is fine, if it is then that's fine too.

Who knows what the future will bring for us, we may have children, we may not, we may adopt, we may foster, we may not, the fact of the matter is that we haven't decided yet and there is nothing wrong with that.

We are a hot mess

I mean in our decorating style. See I am a fan of IKEA furniture, I love the clean lines, the little touch of funk, the pop of color (and it's usually affordable). However, I am also a fan of old stuff, I love vintage, the shabby/rustic chic movement look makes me drool. It seems that my personality is battling itself.  Not only that but I also have Andy to consider. I really don't think he cares how anything looks as long is it is functional/comfortable. You would think that wouldn't be a big deal but it kind of is when he is insistent that it be comfortable (I'm all for comfort but sometimes style wins out, hello 3 inch heels anyone?) So we have a giant hodge podge of ideas and opinions that we are trying to ball up into one smooth, flowing style that will look beautiful and make us feel great when we are in it. Turns out that's pretty hard.

It has actually been stressing me out a little how different not only my own tastes are but also Andy and myself. We are at entirely different ends of the spectrum, where I believe style and beauty reign supreme, he believes that comfort and function are the most important aspect when choosing items for the home. We are going to have to compromise and I know it, but I know that we can handle it. Luckily we are in agreement on one thing involving decorating and furnishing the new house and that is a budget. We have already decided that we will not break the bank to make our house a home, we will DIY, thrift and shop sales so that we aren't taking on any debt to create a space we love. If we are in agreement on the money aspect I am sure we will figure out the decor issues, right?

Where's Izzy?

It seems like every time we ask this question lately the answer is the guest room. Which I finally have pictures of. So instead of boring you with tedious words I'll just get to the good stuff right now.

Here's the breakdown. Bed, nightstand, floating book shelves, curtains and lamps we already had. We bought the bedspread and sheets from IKEA. We bought the cupboard from JCPenney Outlet and painted it using this awesome tutorial. The mirror, flower arrangement, picture frame, and the embroidery hoop wall art were all bought and/or created with materials from Hobby Lobby. Roughly the total cost for this room was $125, not including the price of the things we already have.

There you have it. The pictures don't re-size very well with the Canon (I think we need Photoshop or something?) and  I can't get a good shot of it all together, the room is just too small, I wish I could because I think it flows nicely. There are a few things I want to add, maybe a shelf and a clock maybe even another piece of wall art, but the big things are done like color and furniture. In the new house the set up will look a bit different because the guest room has double windows. I will probably add green/blue curtains and also paint the standing floor lamp a shade of green from the bedspread. Overall, I think that the use of what we had mixed with what we bought worked out well. I was worried the bed and night stand was too modern for the country-like feeling I was going for, but I think it turned out nicely.

Room by room: Master Bedroom

Wednesday, I finished decorating our guest bedroom, which will be our guest bedroom in our new house. There are a few little details I would like, an extra blanket, some baskets, maybe a clock, but for the most part it is done and I am in love with it. I will post pictures as soon as Andy gets home and finds the SD card connector but trust me it's a thing of beauty (so much so that phone pictures just won't do). Anyway, since I finished with one room I am moving on to another one and I decided the master bedroom is next. This decision was a process of elimination since the great room/kitchen/living room area is all interconnected and scares the crap out of me decorating wise. Andy is in charge of his office (with some gentle guidance), the media room is pretty much done, and the fourth bedroom is going to be a craft room.Plus I love our guest room so much that I want to sleep there so it seems right to do our room next.

I have been dying to do something with our master bedroom forever but other things have been more important. So now I can and I am thinking that I want to do a shabby chic motif, white, grey, light blue and maybe some pale yellow. I put together a board on Pinterest and I think it's pretty sweet. Andy has taken a look at it as well and he is liking the vibe as well. Take a peek and let me know what you think!

A promise to myself

Dear Self,

Remember this moment right now, when you are looking at blogs like Young House Love and seeing pins on Pinterest that have gorgeous, organized spaces that you promised yourself that is what your new house will be like. Your new house will be beautiful, organized, and cleaned regularly. You will paint the rooms bold colors and buy/thrift/make furniture and decor to suit your tastes and create a space you love to be in and never want to leave. Just take it one step and one room at a time. Like the wonderful guest room you just finished today. It took time and patience to pull that room together but now you never want to leave it (nor does Izzy). Do the same thing for every room and you will create a beautiful home that will inspire other people, the way those blogs and pins have inspired you.

Love,
Amanda

The Blahs

I'm sorry that I haven't been posting a lot lately, I have had a case of the blahs. Ever since we got back from our trip up north I have been feeling a little off/down. Andy has been a champ for putting up with me. In fact I'm pretty sure he deserves a cake like this one:

Image from Pinterest

I feel like I should be all rainbows and sunshine because our house construction has actually begun and things have been going swimmingly for me on a personal level. I'm pretty sure I know what the culprit is and there isn't a lot I can do about it. Lately, I have been feeling a little unfulfilled in my professional life. I love my job and the company I work for but I want to do more. I only work part-time right now but I want to move up, by either going full-time in the position I am in or advancing to next rung on the ladder. Unfortunately, due to the grant we are using to aid us in purchasing our house I can't try for a full-time position until after we close on the house or we will make too much to qualify for the grant. We also can't take any more loans out so that I can start my master's degree, which I didn't think I was upset about until I dropped out of the classes last week that I had enrolled in before we decided to build. So I feel sort of stuck. Andy tells me to think about the grant as a bonus for not working more but it's really hard. I see him settled into a career and a job he loves and I just wish that I could have that. I hardly ever notice the six year age difference between us but on the professional level it's hard to ignore.

Things were different when Andy graduated, he got a job right away and while it wasn't a great job it helped him get to where he is today (working at home in his pajamas, yeah even I am jealous of him). When I graduated I almost think it would have been better for me to hibernate in school for a couple more years, maybe even obtain my Master's degree because the 9 months it took me to find a job may have been better spent in the classroom. The economy when I graduated was a horrible place for me and my classmates to go into. Out of the 8 or so friends and classmates I kept touch with after graduation it took an average of 4 months post-graduation to find some kind of job in their field. That isn't including the time spent job hunting in the months leading up to graduation, so I would say more like 6 months of actual job hunting. Many of those friends had to leave Toledo (including me) to find a job. I'm really grateful to have the job I have, I have many wonderful benefits and it is truly a place I want to work for a long time I just wish that I could do more, and make more money to actually begin saving instead of spending practically every dollar I make on bills. I know that it will happen one day and when that happens I will be thrilled, I just wish that it would happen sooner rather than later.

Breaking ground!

Andy and I were enjoying our last day of vacation yesterday and I received a phone call. At first I thought it was a call about a job I recently interviewed for so I freaked out a little. Then the caller said she was Erika and I started smiling like crazy because I knew. Meanwhile, Andy is standing there looking at me like "What is happening?". She told me that our permits had come through and they were ready to break ground next Wednesday, August 10th! Therefore we needed to meet with our contractor to discuss the build before Wednesday. After some "I'm so excited!"'s she asked if I wanted to discuss a time and day with Andy and call her back which I did. I got off the phone and we had our moment of "Oh my goodness!!! YAY!". Then we discussed, picked Tuesday at noon, and called back.

It's getting real. For the past few weeks it has seemed a little surreal, almost like this isn't going to happen. It's really hard to believe in just 5 or so short months our house is going to be done and we can move in (really???). I mean we picked our lot, floor plan, tile, flooring, paint, everything weeks ago. Since then we have basically been sitting on our thumbs house-wise. We have gone to the lot more times than I can count. We were excited when the road got paved, then when they put the street sign up, then a stop sign. We have taken great pleasure in the little things. However, now we are going to be breaking ground and I have a feeling it's going to fly. We have been watching some of the other houses going up on other streets and it seems like in the last month it went from a foundation to a whole house so quickly. Trust me we will be there everyday to document the progress and you all will be there for the ride, right?

Eee, I'm so excited!